After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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