i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize