I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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