the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
