Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
