No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
