There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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