I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
