You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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