at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
