There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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