There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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