How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
