Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
