did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
