i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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