The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
