if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
