i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
operation have a gay friend backfired
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
