idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
