I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
