Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
