Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
that may or may not have been my penis.
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