You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
