she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
its liver damage thursday
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
