Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
