i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize