So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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