He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
