I'm going to jail i love you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
