Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
