Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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