I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
