Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
