they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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