I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
are you so shy because you have an std?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
