let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
