Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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