I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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