I cannot find my penis.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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