This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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