Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
