I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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