just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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