He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
