You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my shit smells like andre
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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