good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
