Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
