Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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