I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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