I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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