if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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