New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize