I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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