why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
