that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
