can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
