She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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