im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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