"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
