lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
