Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
