a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
