That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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