Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
