i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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